A HORSES ARSE

THE VERDE WORD

Early morn has broken.  The sun looms over the horizon beckoning you to do your favourite thing.
Go out to the barn on this wonderful fresh sunny day and partake of your favourite day starter.  The smell of horse manure.  Diligently, as every other day you put your horse Ned in the yard and muck out the stable.

Having finished, you grab a cup of coffee, sit on the rails talking to Ned and you contemplate on how wonderful it is to have a horse.  After a while Ned wanders off  and you find yourself watching Ned's generous backside walking away.

Think about it, Ned and his forbears have been used for galloping into battle, hunting, tilling the soil and also as a means of transport.  But is that all?

A while ago now, I read a report on the effect horses have on our modern civilisation.

The width of two horse arses is why farm machinery, cars, railroads, motor vehicles, roads, boats and  space rockets are a similiar width.

Yes all you wonderful horsey folk, the width of all if not most modern transport is all because of the width of a horses arse.

Based on my understandings, the following facts are true.

Once upon a time in the ancient Greek era their military training included horse racing.  Soldiers wanted to be the fastest galloper.  Their military decided it would be an advantage to attach a cart and call the combination a 'chariot'.  Following, their military figured that if they had a bigger chariot with two horses and two soldiers, one could steer and the other could battle the enemy.

Chariot racing then became a very popular sport.  However, they needed a race arena that had to be wide enough to allow either six or eight  teams of horses next to each other.

The public, and those who could afford them, realised that a horse is a darned wonderful thing for transport.

Most folks could only afford one and eventually, there were many people on horseback taking rough tracks to their destination and return.  This means on one track, people were going in both directions, which again means, the tracks became the same width of two horse arses plus a little bit more.  Then people started using wagons with two horses pulling.  And yes, the tracks stayed the same size.

Consequently, it was accepted that all roads were to become the same width, i.e. the aforementioned witdth of two horse arses.  Then trains were invented so as a matter of convenience, the kept the railway tracks the same size as was accepted for the horse and wagon roads.  Besides, the military thought using trains to transport horses was a good idea and this again was another reason for the railway guages to match the width of horse arses.

The same with cars.  Because cars were seen as an alternative to horse and wagons and used on the same roads, the axles on cars were again made the width to fit on the roads.

In other words, the width of roads, cars and railways are generally based on the width of?
Yep, two horse arses.

Now, here where it really gets even more interesting.

NASA and the US Federal Government were planning and designing space rockets for the US space program.  And apparently, the company that was building the rockets was located on the west coast of the USA.  Because of the optimal conditions of the weather in Florida, the rockets were to be launched from what was then named Cape Canaveral which was later renamed Cape Kennedy on the east coast.

The question then remains, how did they plan to get the rockets from the West Coast to the East Coast?

Because of the height, weight and length of the rockets it was not possible to transport them by road, shipping was out of the question nor obviously, could they be flown.

They decided the rockets would be transported all the way across the US by railway.
However, this means the rockets had to be designed and built to fit the width of a railway line.

So, even today, although road, cars and train widths are dictated by the width of two horse arses so were the rockets for the US space program.

So, the next time you see your horse from the back, or you refer to someone as being a 'horses arse', reflect on what a wonderful compliment it is!

To have an arse that dictated and helped modern civilisation to produce such wonderful advances in science and technology should be applauded.

So folks, go and give your horse an extra apple today and value every bit of manure you step in.
The horse arse is a wonderful thing that also provides wonderful nourishment for your roses.

Oh, and take pride when someone calls you a horses arse!


Verde.