FRAMED BY HISTORY

THE VERDE WORD

How others see or understand us, our personality or even our looks, are we being judged?  How do others see our picture, are we being framed like a picture?  What is in the frame?

For example, we may appear as a short, solid, pear-shaped, happy, white-skinned individual.

Does the physical frame equate to: short = small, solid= timber, pear-shaped = oval, happy = yellow, white skinned = shiny.  If so, we would be pictured in a small oval yellow timber frame that houses crystal clear glass. Does this reflect who we are?  What of the person inside, our inner self, what of our soul, is this reflected in what is framed?

If in private we are a sad and boring person, would this change our frame’s perspective to the viewer?  Or if we are a person of grace, elegance, deep feeling, unsure, feelings of inadequacy, bon-viviant, gregarious, intelligent, dull, mean spirited, ego-centric, nasty or perhaps a person who is benevolent, would this show by the picture in the frame?

Perhaps so, it all depends on the viewer, the mood of the picture and also the environment when it is being viewed.

As we view pictures, or paintings, we know that when they are being framed there is consideration that the picture is best enhanced by the framing and where the picture is placed on a wall.  Other considerations are the colour of the wall, the lighting, the size of the room, the style of the room and the style and quality of the building in which the picture is placed and under what circumstances.  Also taken into consideration is who will be viewing the picture.  All of these play a role in how people see and understand the picture.  Thus, it is with us.  How people view and understand us helps to construct their understanding of how, what and why we are who we are in the picture.  However, they are not able to have full knowledge of us, understand our thoughts, feelings and dreams or where or what we want to be.

Therefore, wives, husbands, partners, lovers, strangers, friends, family, anyone and everyone are not able to fully see and appreciate the truth of the individual in the frame.  This is because what is observed and understood is a view based solely on their personal genetic make-up, experiences, upbringing and life experiences.

What of the shadow of the frame?  As we walk, stride or run through life, in sun and in shadow we seek to take the journey and reach our destination without harm.  In the blazing heat of the day, walking barefooted on the scorching pavement, our bare feet seek to place our soft, tender feet on the shadows.  This is our life, sometimes we have to walk in the shadows for survival.  As we are pictured in the frame, whether we are shaped by the frame, or in the shadow cast by the frame, it is still one frame, it is our life no matter how, what, why, or how we are framed.  It is how we shape ourselves, not others'.

As continually evolving humans, our genetics are passed down through generations and this helps to frame the picture of who, how, where and why we are and, 'are'. Genes determine the colour of eyes, dispositions, abilities, likes, dislikes and whether we have a predisposition to certain illnesses.

Digging in the pocket of our shorts or jeans, our genes are there. No matter what we do, where we go, our genes will never be lost regardless of how holey our pockets become. We have no choice but to hang onto them, we’ve got them, our genes are with us forever.

Within our frame is our genetic makeup, this is why we behave as we do, we can't change, it is how we are, it is in our genes but how true is that?

Although our genes play an important role in determining our behaviour and how we handle various circumstances, events around us and how we relate to the rest of humanity, what of our upbringing, what role does that play?

Naturally, everything that comprises who, what and why we ‘are’ is all tied together. Everything we do, depends on many elements besides our genes, upbringing, social status, stability, security, intelligence, environment and also our life experiences and, our personal feelings.

Right, sure, what about that other things like being poor, time short, exhausted, unwell, cranky, the kids are driving us nuts, the cat threw up on the carpet, "yeah whatever...." is what we may say, but regardless of how we react to situations, it is all a part of who we are.

Although a lot is in our genetics we tend to behave as our parents did or how we were taught.  Do we behave according to how we think others expect us to behave?  Do we behave certain ways because our actions are driven by societal expectations?  The truth of the matter is simple.

We behave, react and handle situations by using what we have which are our genetics, upbringing, and our personal beliefs and life experiences.  Put another way, the way we individually ‘are' is framed by our personal history whether it is indeed our genetics, upbringing, beliefs, life experiences or even, societal expectations. 

Although a picture may be obvious, everyone who casts their countenance sees different things within the same frame.

I consider three frames we may view:

Your Frame

Sometimes well meaning people will tell you what to do.  ‘Paint it green, I did that and it looks wonderful!’ or ‘It’s not fattening, I didn't gain weight’ or ‘I think it is a good buy, go for it!’  or worst of all, ‘Take my advice, do it my way, you will never regret it.’  Your reactions at first are to agree with the proposer of this advice.  Yes, they did not put weight on, it was a good buy for them and, they did not regret their decision.  However, that is their life, that is how they see things from their viewpoint and it is right for them but not necessarily for you.

Other's experiences and ensuing advice is often correct and right for them.  It is based on their personal make-up, beliefs and life experiences but is it right for you?

Certainly consult with friends, family and associates but before making a decision, go into the depths of what you really think and feel.  Better still, think about the worst that can happen and if you can handle and live with that, go with your gut feelings.

Don’t go with other's opinion, advice, and decisions unless you have considered things from the perspective of your personal make-up, beliefs and experiences.

It is better and far more honest to deliberately step out of the frame others' have you in and be honestly who you feel you are and do things according to what you think is right, both ethically and morally.  It is unwise to try and be how others’ think you should be, because firstly, the goal posts keep on moving according to other’s moods, thoughts and opinions at the time and secondly, it is very difficult to be who you are not.  It is impossible to fit other's image of you because they see the picture of you in the frame differently.  Only you know the true picture of yourself.

It is your frame, don’t live your life according to how others see or frame you.

Others' Frame

As you, others' do not expect, nor do they have the right to dictate to anyone unless it is in line with legal, cultural and citizenship expectations.

How others' live their life, what they do, what they spend their money on, where they buy a new house, the car they buy the partners they have, is their business only.

I feel society (particularly in Australia) is being pushed down, pushed around and bullied into submission for everything.  There are so many rules and regulations, laws, by-laws, do this, do that, don’t do this, don’t do that etc.  The laws, rules and regulations are not taking into account our historical and cultural mores.  I, as many Australians, have a genetic trait that we don’t readily accept being told what to do and being bossed around.  We accept suggestions and invitations that we do or not do something and mostly adhere to the law, but unless we ask for advice or an opinion, we balk at being directly told what to do.  By expecting to live and run your life in other people's frame, it is stifling, nullifying and creates frustration, don’t interfere in others' frames.

No Frame

Like everyone else, we all have a picture, a framed picture of ourselves which may be very different to how we are viewed by others'. Then again, do we honestly know how others' see us?  

Our frame holds a picture that is sometimes rather different to how we perceive ourselves and it is ever changing as we change.  As we grow older and hopefully wiser, our lives may undertake substantial change without any deliberate interference from ourselves.  We undergo transformation and become different people with different beliefs, practices and our life experiences are continuing to grow and expand.

In constantly changing and adapting to alterations in our lives whether they be psychological, physical, attitudinal and faith, perhaps we have no frame. 

Whether we have a frame or not, take heed of Shakespearean wisdom.

"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man".  Shakespeare.  Hamlet Act 1. Scene 3

Verde